The Last Letter
by Silent.Surrender
Summary: Sai waited for her, and Sakura held tighter to Sasuke's memory. He loved her, but she was blind. After years of painful waiting, they finally belong to each other. But now, as she writes her last letter, she hates that she didn't see sooner. SaixSaku.


_**A/N: **__This is short, sweet and sad. Don't want to spoil too much for you, so that's why the summary was vague. You'll understand soon. PLEASE REVIEW! _

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own the wonderful series of Naruto. :(**

* * *

_My love,_

_How do I start? At first I thought you were nothing but a replacement - a ghost that couldn't properly fill the void in my heart that Sasuke left. I hated you. I hated you because you looked so similar. I hated you because you were nothing like him. I hated you because I thought you didn't understand._

_How wrong was I? The whole time you were showing me who you really were, but I was too naive to see, too caught up in my own misery to see that you too, were crying out for affection under the stoic mask you wore. I wondered why you couldn't smile. I thought the fake smile you gave me was insulting. But it turned out that you were trying all along...but never truly learned how._

_You tried everything. You wanted me to look at you with the same eyes that I looked at him with. But I couldn't let go. You waited. For months that turned into years you waited with a patience that stunned the people around you. Even after Naruto told you that it was a lost cause, and I would never love anyone else, you waited still. And slowly, painfully, I came to you. _

_Even when I was yours and you were mine, I would still look into your eyes and see a glimmer of my lost love. And I was painstakingly guilt ridden because of it. I didn't deserve your love._

_You said you didn't care. You needed me more than I needed you._

_Always the one that held me when I cried...even when I pretended that the arms that encircled me belonged to someone else._

_Even when he came back and asked for my hand, you told me to go to him. To fulfil my dreams and fulfil his in the process. You said go, and when you saw me again, my name would be Uchiha Sakura._

_This was what I wanted, surely. To be the bearer of his children, and in turn, pretend that somewhere, deep down he held a tiny speck of affection for me, other than a tool._

_But I refused his hand, because I became addicted to the reverence you held in your eyes towards me. It sounded pathetic, but I couldn't love him when he wouldn't love me back. I needed to be loved. And he hated me for choosing you._

_So I ran back to you. And you said that I was foolish. But I didn't miss the tears of relief you hid in your emotionless eyes when you embraced me once more._

_And that was when the arms that held me belonged to no-one else but you._

_For 3 months, we were one. You never said you loved me. But I could feel it with every breath you took, every gesture, and every time you looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen. I almost didn't want to hear you say it, if it meant you would look at me like that for as long as I lived._

_You continued to call me ugly. And I said that was fine. Because I was _your _ugly one. And finally, you smiled a _real_ smile. I had never seen something so beautiful. I was so proud of you. _

_And when we shared our first night together, it wasn't just heated, hot-blooded sex. No, it felt like I had attached myself to your heart. And I cried, cried because I had never felt so happy, cried because I had never felt so loved in my whole life. And you whispered sweet nothings into my ear, promising me you would never let me go; you would never break my heart. I felt your tears against my skin when you kissed soft caresses down my neck._

_I knew then, that I had been a fool to think that once I had truly loved Sasuke._

_Then came the dreaded news. All leaf ninja were to fight for Konoha against the raid from the Sound village. We lost Kakashi. I lost my father. And so I acted out of pure rage, and was nearly killed as a result, poisoned from the jutsu of an unknown ninja that you killed in vengeful anger for me and Kakashi._

_They brought me back to Tsunade. She tried everything. But I would die, in little less than a week._

_I tried my hardest. I held on for as long as I could._

_I am sorry I didn't tell you I was dying. I couldn't bear to see the look on your face. I wanted to die knowing that you still had hope for me. And I had a terrible, heart-breaking secret. I could never tell you. Because I would sooner die than see the hopelessness in your eyes._

_Please forgive me, love._

_Be happy._

* * *

Sai's face crumpled in pain as he stood in front of her tombstone, holding the tear-stained note she had written hours before her death. The priest said few words... beautiful soul, compassionate friend, loyal team mate...none of them were true. He didn't know Sakura the way he did.

_Compassion friend...she was so, so much more. No-one knows that better than I do._

Naruto sobbed uncontrollably, and Tsunade held his hand, he face fiercely beautiful. She struggled to hold back tears for her only student, who was more like her child.

Sasuke's face was impassive, except for the clenched fist and the tell-tale signs of tears dewing under his eyelids.

_Why would he care? She was nothing but a tool to him._

There were hundreds in attendance to be present at Haruno Sakura's funeral. All the leaf ninja and visitors from sand and mist were present. The Kazekage watched the proceedings with cold, black rimmed eyes. He too knew that this was wrong. Haruno-san wasn't supposed to die yet. She would've been the next best medic in fire country, and he didn't forget that she saved his brother's life. A pity, her death was, But she was a kunoichi, so she had died for her village.

_She taught me how to feel._

Sakura's coffin was pristine white, and simple. Sai couldn't believe that the only other one he ever _truly _cared for now lay inside...lifeless, and blank. It was so unfair, he thought bitterly. First his brother, and now his lover. She was laid right next to Kakashi's grave. It was one of her last requests to be buried next to her father-figure sensei.

_I should be lying right next to her._

The congregation slowly dispelled as the final words were uttered. The sun was just setting behind the mountains. When finally Sasuke and Naruto left, Sai stood for hours, staring at her tombstone with only a single thought, the wind whipping his hair around his strangely blank eyes.

_If only she told me...I would have found a way..._

"..Why didn't she tell me?" he whispered brokenly to no-one.

_Here lies Haruno Sakura, loving friend, brave warrior._

_Mother to be._


End file.
